Take Ownership of Your Story

As a brand strategist, I feel really comfortable helping others tell and shape their story, but I often have difficulty when it comes to sharing my own. When I began my career pivot away from teaching, I had a really hard time explaining why I was making a shift.

Each time I told someone else my plan, I felt like I had to explain myself and almost apologize as to why I decided to make the change. People knew me as a teacher, but now I was going back on what I said. I got so worked up about having these conversations, particularly with people who were teachers or mentors in the teaching field, that I avoided the conversations for months.

And, you know what happened when I finally told them?

They were incredibly supportive.

There was no admonishment, no questioning, no "but you told me that...". All of the scenarios I had planned for in my head didn't happen. Sure, people might have wondered what prompted the change, but the 20 minute extemporaneous argument  I had rehearsed was not needed.

Defining myself

Despite the general support, I still felt apprehension when talking about my career shift with people because I hadn't yet figured out how to confidently own my story. In fact, I wasn't quite sure who I was outside of "choir teacher." Turns out, when you wrap your identity up in your profession and you decide to change careers, it's really easy to fall into a bit of an identity crisis. I had so much pinned on being a choir teacher that when I stepped away, I didn't know my story. Furthermore, I didn't give myself an opportunity to grow because I was so concerned that people would only see me as one thing. Heaven forbid I change my mind.

Over the last few years, I've had moments of similar apprehension when explaining what I am doing currently. I started my own business and have pursued writing in various forms, but as I learned more about myself, my goals pivoted or refined. I had been faced with the dread of telling someone "well, actually...", worrying that I would be seen as unfocused, wishy-washy or indecisive when I explained my path had shifted.

I had difficulty owning my story.

Learning to tell my story

In one networking session about a year ago, I was spotlighted to workshop my communication roadblocks. As mentioned above, I get nervous talking about what I do because sometimes it is hard to explain, and I feel like I have to justify my pivots. Luckily for me, I got to practice during the session.

I knew the facilitator a bit before, and she introduced me saying that I was pursuing comedy writing, as I previously shared with her that I was working on a pilot. While that is not necessarily incorrect, it's not the focus of my path right now. Instead of getting flustered, I said --

"It's actually pivoted a little."

She was very gracious and apologized for mislabeling me, though she absolutely didn't need to. Though that wasn't the question I submitted, that moment gave me the perfect chance to practice my communication challenge!

In that moment, I confidently owned that it had changed. I didn't apologize for myself or over-explain. I simply mentioned what I was doing now. She then astutely pointed out that I had just navigated the very issue about which I was worrying. How fortuitous! We continued on to have a great conversation in which she guided me to understand how I could use other stories to define my current path. It was a great learning moment for all of us, and I recognized that so much of my anxiety around my changing path is not an issue to other people.

Since that session, my path has pivoted many times, and I have learned that each switchback is just another turn on my long journey. All the changes have helped me shape who I am, allowing me to refine what I like, what I don't, and giving me the confidence to take ownership of my path. Moreover, I have learned that my path is not like anyone else's -- and that's what makes my story so compelling!

Ditching the labels

So often, we try to define ourselves by what we do. Especially in our society that puts a premium on our work defining us. That's why it can feel so scary to craft a story that is outside of that norm.

Labels put us into boxes by design, but as I mentioned, no two stories are going to be the same. Which is a good thing! When your customers are reading your website and looking to work with someone or buy the best product they want to know what makes you stand out. It's these little pivots, nuances, or quirks in your story that will draw them in and get them to read on.

Here's something to try. Set a timer for one minute and write as many words that you can think of that you would use to describe yourself or your business. This can be anything--from the tactical things you do every day to what you want customers to feel when they interact with your brand. Be as creative as possible; bonus points if you don't use any jargon or buzzwords.

Don't worry if it doesn't make sense at first. The goal of this is to break out of engrained messaging and discover what makes you unique. There may be other business coaches out there, but it's unlikely that they all would describe their approach as "a slumber party meets marathon training" (for example). You may not use it in your final messaging and it will likely change over the years, but these ideas will key you into the tone you want to take and how you want to present yourself to your audience. I bet you'll surprise yourself with what you find.

Taking ownership of your narrative

Taking ownership of your own narrative is an incredibly important piece of brand storytelling. As I have worked with organizations and brands to craft content, the first step is getting to the heart of their message -- it's owning what they do and why. It has been such a pleasure to work with businesses over the last year in defining these stories, helping them to confidently share their message with the public.

How have you overcome a challenge in sharing your story? Do you have any stumbling blocks with taking ownership?

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